Excuse my outburst....

I know that I should still be basking in the joy of knowing who are next president will be... but over the past few days I have become more and more disturbed at how prejudiced so much of our country really is.

I suppose everyone who voted for McCain, and was disappointed, has a right to be upset. All of us Bush-haters have certainly expressed our anger and frustration over the past 8 years and I suppose the Republicans have that right too. Not suppose, of course they do.

However... Something really weird and disturbing is going on that I've never really seen before. I've talked to many people who have been quite surprised at some of the things popping up on their facebook pages. Status's that read - "HAIL HITLER!! if you voted Obama, congratulations.. your a fucking idiot!! bye bye capitalism, hello communism. at least i voted SMART." Or "Thanks all you nazis for voting for Hitler... we're gonna have a great country now you FUCKING LIBERAL MORONS!"

Ok... so again, people have a right to be upset but in my opinion, this is crossing a line. I got myself involved arguing with someone via facebook (the person who wrote the hail hitler thing) and although I regret getting myself involved, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. In the end, this girl ended up calling me a "liberal homo terrorist communist" and a "hitler loving nazi." Ok, first of all... I'm the nazi? The jew with a major in GLBT studies, with a gay dad, who voted for a black man? Seriously? I'm the nazi? Secondly... Hitler and the nazi party were avidly against communism, so to call anyone a communist nazi doesn't even make sense. And of course, after spewing out all of these historical facts and personal feelings, I got absolutely no where and ended up feeling completely embarrassed that I had wasted a good amount of time trying to prove her wrong. Because I knew from the beginning I would get no where. But how do I not step in? How do I not get personally offended? I don't know the answers to these questions.

So I went through my friends list and started to delete anyone who's status said anything that I believed to be absurdly prejudiced in any way. I did this because I knew that if I didn't, I would start arguing with everyone. And I didn't want to do that.

It's also a very strange feeling to know you've won an argument (hitler wasn't a communist, your status is completely offensive to millions of people, etc) but not have the other person admit they were wrong. Hitler was not a communist and this girl explained to me that my "facts" were "bullshit." I think that's my greatest fault in life... to assume that everyone will be able to admit when they're wrong and to apologize when they say something that offends someone else, regardless of whether or not it was intentional. I was raised with the idea that it's vital to apologize, even when you mean no harm toward others... if someone is hurt by what you've said or done it's so important to acknowledge that persons feelings and learn how to act or express yourself differently in the future. But I guess not everyone believes that. I guess not everyone knows when to back down, or how to re-evaluate the expression of one's own opinions. I always assume that people do and am constantly let down.

I also have a really hard time not taking things personally. This girl on facebook, who I barely know, did not have me in mind when she composed her facebook status. But how could I NOT get personally offended? When I explained to her why I was personally offended, she explained that she didn't give a shit about how Jewish I was, how gay my dad was, or any of it and that I meant nothing to her. This shocks me. Because although she wasn't thinking about me when she wrote the facebook status, by expressing the opinions she expressed, how can she not realize that she's personally offending millions of people?

So many people have explained to me that it's really detrimental to take things personally. I understand the reasons for this but I am going to have to disagree with many of them.

My personal life... the life that has defined my personal beliefs is what gives me the motivation and stamina to fight for what I believe in. If I didn't take things personally, I wouldn't have the ability to fight to make a difference. For example, how can I not take Proposition 8 personally? I know that it isn't about me, or my family but it affects me and my family. Even racism... I'm not black and no one has ever offended me based on my race, but I take racism towards other people personally, because I understand what it feels like to be hated or looked down upon. If it weren't for my internalization I would have no basis on which to form my beliefs. I really don't think taking things personally is so terrible.

The other day in class, my teacher was trying to express why he feels uncomfortable when he sees Muslim women dressed in veils. He was having a hard time explaining himself, especially when numerous people in the class began to attack him. He finally explained that as a gay man, he feels personally offended by outward expressions of the Muslim religion because a lot of Muslims believe homosexuality is wrong. He said that when he sees a veil, he immediately thinks that person disapproves of him. He's a very intelligent person and is obviously aware that 1. Not all Muslims disapprove of homosexuality and 2. The women he sees wearing veils obviously do not "hate" him... or even know him for that matter. But I got what he was saying. As politically incorrect as his statement may have been, I understood it because I have felt similarly in the past. He compared the wearing of veils to the wearing of swastikas... and many people in my class freaked out. And ok, it's a shocking thing to say. But how many people have killed homosexuals in the name of Islam? A lot. People killed Jews because they thought it was wrong and detrimental to society to be Jewish. Well... people are killing homosexuals for many of the same reasons. So is it bad for my teacher to have internalized Islam in the way that he has? I really don't know. It's not as if he's walking up to Muslim women ripping veils from their heads or calling them nazis, it's just that he can't help but feel personally offended. And I get that. Even as un-PC as that may be. He feels discriminated against and even if his reasons for feeling discriminated are a bit irrational, if that's what it takes to make him want to change prejudices, then I don't think that's a bad thing.

So what's the difference between my teacher equating veils with swastikas and the girl on facebook calling me and Barack Obama a nazi? Well... I think it's in the way each person decided to express themselves. My teacher was fully aware of his feelings but didn't say "Muslims are like nazis and they all hate me and want to kill me." Because of course, that's irrational. Just like the girls fear that Barack is a nazi is irrational. I think it's vital for us all to internalize things and be aware of our feelings (as irrational as they may be), re-evaluate those feelings and then use them to make a difference. To make this country less prejudiced and less hateful.

I have nothing against people who voted for McCain and understand the reasons for why people did. (Well, some of the reasons.) Even if the girl on facebook had said "Look... For some reason, and I don't know why, but Barack reminds me of a communist." I would have been way less offended and way more willing to have an adult, mature conversation with her.

When personal feelings make you incapable of hearing outside opinions, that's when they become a problem.

But of course I am biased and prejudiced myself. A good example of my prejudice is my disapproval and disgust with organized religion and the ways it alienates and discriminates against certain groups of people. I have absolutely nothing against spirituality or a belief in God and I think that being spiritual can be very positive. But once that belief begins to tell people how to live, who to approve and disapprove of... It becomes a problem. I do not see how it is positive to tell homosexuals they cannot get married in the name of Christianity and therefore, I am prejudiced against the aspects of Christianity that exclude people. I am all about religious freedom and think that everyone should have the right to religion. But NOT when that religion is used as an excuse to hate, exclude, oppress or kill. Therefore, although I am "prejudiced"... I am only prejudiced towards people who are prejudiced themselves.

So, although this of course seems biased... my prejudice, to me does not seem harmful because all I want in life is for everyone to be treated equally. Everyone deserves EQUAL FUCKING RIGHTS! How can people possibly disagree with that? And although I feel so strongly on this issue... I still, on a daily basis, open myself up to hearing the other side. I will never cut someone off or tell them they don't have a right to how they feel. So much of Christianity and Islam conflicts directly with so much of what I believe, but I STILL listen. I still have an open mind and I really, really love to be proven wrong and be forced to re-consider my beliefs.

I just wish everyone felt the same way.

I will end with a excerpt from an article written by Harvey Fierstein that I found to be quite excellent and well-written -

"Listen, my fellow Americans, I am only asking that we get sensible about this controversy. Gays are not asking for religious blessings. We are not asking for everyone to come to our weddings. We are not asking the government to force churches and synagogues to perform marriage rituals or even to allow us into their tax-exempt edifices. We are simply and forcefully demanding equal protection under the laws of this nation as tax paying, voting, property owning citizens. I want no more or less protection than granted any heterosexual to control and distribute my holdings."