America, once again... you fail.

I read an article last semester in my Sexuality from Cross Cultural Perspectives class called "Raging Hormones, Regulated Love: Adolescent Sexuality and the Constitution of the modern individual in the United States and the Netherlands." And I have to say, it was one of the most fascinating articles I'd ever, ever read.

Since I would eventually like to work (somehow) in sexual education in America, seeing how other countries deal with teen sexuality (especially when it seems successful) is extremely useful knowledge.

The article was about how teen sexuality is viewed and dealt with in both American and the Netherlands and, not surprisingly, there are many, many differences.

Just to give you a few examples -

"The American parents describe adolescent sexuality as a biologically driven, individually based activity which causes disruption to the teenager as well as to the family. The Dutch parents, by contrast, emphasize the love relationships and social responsibility of teenagers which make their sexuality a 'normal' phenomenon."

"Researchers have argued that the cultural climate and the nature of adult attitudes towards adolescent sexuality affect the likelihood that teenagers will use contraceptives effectively... 'a more permissive attitude leads to more effective contraceptive use.'"

"The dissociation of teenage sexuality from contexts of love and commitment explains why American parents often refer to teenage sexual activity as experimental, promiscuous, immoral or exclusively pleasure-driven. It is not uncommon, in fact, for parents to mention teenage sex in the same breath as drugs, excessive drinking or vandalism."

"The Dutch parents do not regard sex as inherently risky because they expect their children will use contraceptives to protect themselves against unwanted consequences... Asked in their 16-year-old is old enough to drink, parents usually respond 'yes, in moderation', implying that a 16-year-old is capable of self-imposed moderation."

"The Dutch and American parents whom I interviewed construct sexuality on the basis of the cultural building blocks available to them. That one set of parents emphasizes sex's biological properties whereas the other set emphasizes sex's social properties depends, I argue, on the images of human nature which their cultures provide."

So, in summary... American parents generally expect their children to behave inappropriately - they expect that their children will be immature, irresponsible and not aware enough to make responsible decisions concerning sex or other aspects of adolescence such as drug and/or alcohol experimentation. On the other hand, the Dutch parents take part in a much more hands off approach - assuming their children are ready and able to enter into adolescence responsibly. Because, as the author explained, the parents act according to the culture in which they are in... we can also see these techniques replicated in schools.

In America, children are taught the horrors of sex, drugs and alcohol. Every one of those things, without question leads to death, unhappiness or... death. However, in Dutch schools, the approach is a lot different. Children are taught to regard sex as something that if handled appropriately, can be something positive. Same with drugs and alcohol.

So, what you ask, is the outcome of these different parenting/schooling techniques? In my opinion, the outcomes are astonishing. (This is based on a study conducted about 10 years ago.) Per 1000 women, aged 15-19, the teen birth rate in American is 55.6. In the Netherlands, the teen birth rate is 7.7. At the time that this study was done, America was highest on the list, and the Netherlands was lowest. (I think the Netherlands has since dropped to second on the list due to an influx of non-Western immigrants, many of them unwilling to utilize contraceptives.) Still, the results are pretty telling. Additionally, the statistics for alcohol and drug abuse follow extremely similar patterns. I believe the Netherlands has the lowest percentage of drug abuse, even though soft drugs are legal and hard drugs are given to addicts by the government if they can prove they are really, truly addicted. (An effort to try and keep junkies off the street.)

In my opinion, the statistics have a direct correlation to the ways children are treated during their adolescence.

To further prove my point, I want all of you to watch this video about a movie coming out soon called "Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss." It is about how American teens are taking part in more oral sex than ever before and some are even taking part in mild forms of prostitution. For example, some girl explains that she was offered 20 dollars to take her shirt off.


Teens: Oral Sex and Casual Prostitution No Biggie - ABC News


First of all, let me just say... I understand that teen sex and teen pregnancy is a serious problem in the United States. My motivation for writing this blog entry is not to say America sucks, the Netherlands rules (although okay yes, I think that's true)... my point is to show the REASONS for why America has failed so entirely at dealing with sex, especially when it comes to children.

However, watching this little clip infuriated me.

First of all, the description of the movie as "A troubling window into a horrifying reality no parent can imagine," is absurd. Yes, I understand parents are freaked out by incidences of teen sex/oral sex but a horrifying reality no parent can imagine? Your child could be cutting themselves, drinking themselves to death, robbing people, raping someone, you name it... and you are calling a little dick sucking "a horrible reality"? Really? Sure, children feel socially pressured and sure, many of them make decisions they later regret. But defining oral sex so broadly as a horrifying reality just seems a little counterproductive.

Secondly, this comment is completely useless - "A lot of girls are disappointed in love and I think they believe that they can hook up the ways guys do and not care but unfortunately they do care." What?? First of all, a guy paying a girl to take her shirt off is just as misguided as the girl willing to accept the offer. Secondly, this comment is entirely based on wishy washy social crap. Who says girls are generally disappointed in love? And why are we constantly telling them that they can't have casual sex like guys can? That statement isn't true and it's constant repetition is harmful at best. If we tell girls they can't take part in casual sex, or that they will constantly be hurt by men... I would think that girls, unknowing of any other opinions, will pick men that will take advantage of them and hurt their feelings. How are girls supposed to have a positive outlook about love and relationships if all they are ever being told is that men will abuse and take advantage of them? What upsets me most about this comment is that it's sets girls up for receiving the blame. Girls think they can behave like guys, so they do, and then they get hurt. Telling girls to stop going after guys because they are unable to handle the pressures reminds of how women are often blamed for rape. No, I'm sorry... but those things are just not their fault. I think the one thing we must blame in this case is culture. American culture and society places the blame on women and expects them to be unable to handle themselves properly.

Finally, this quote - "You have to parent double time." I think it's pretty obvious how I feel about that. If by parenting double time she meant instilling more trust and hope in children and assuming they are mature enough to handle adolescence, then fine. But I am pretty sure she meant - trust your kids less, blame them for their assumed ineptitude and try your best to find the ways in which they are failing. As I think I've proven, that DOES NOT WORK.

This movie, along with so many other attempts at bringing awareness about teen sexuality to the public, are in my opinion... pointless. Actually, no, not pointless... harmful.

America, how obvious is it that we're failing? Our teenage pregnancy and abortion rates are extraordinarily high, in addition to our teen drug/alcohol abuse rates. Clearly, whatever it is we're doing, it's not working. In fact, I think it's getting worse. But of course, America is a pompous, individualistic nation incapable of searching for answers elsewhere. A quick look at the Netherlands would provide America with a great deal of useful knowledge on how to improve the climate of teenage sexuality. But somehow, I don't think anyones going to do that any time soon.

On with the fear tactics and degradation!!