I promised myself I wouldn't update this until I got settled in here again and started classes. But, here we are. I obviously have no will power in this area.
First of all, I am still very much in love with this city.
However, being a second-semester student here surrounded by a bunch of new people has so far been awkward, disheartening and confusing. Perhaps my memory is wrong, but last semester I remember clicking with people instantly and instantly feeling like I wouldn't have a hard time making friends. This semester, not so much. Partly, I think this is because the 3 other full year students and I don't really fit anywhere. We're comfortable in the city but all of our friends have left so in a way we're all new again and looking for new people and new experiences. Plus, we are unavoidably comparing everyone that's new this semester to the people we got close with last semester. (Maybe I shouldn't be talking for everyone... but I'm pretty positive from what I've heard that we all feel the same way.) So, we're kinda new but kinda not. Plus, all of the orientation activities aren't required of us - nor is it necessary for us to go to nearly any of them. So I've been showing up at some things but not others... and someone who disappears for the majority of the day and only shows up once if at all per day isn't someone that anyone is really going to remember. On top of which, we're kind of being treated as "leaders" by our program staff... which isn't something any of us really signed up for. I'm happy of course to help out everyone that's new but not on this awkward last minute/we're not really needed basis.
I don't know why I'm surprised at how different this semester is so far - I knew it would be different. I guess I just didn't know in what ways.
I'm trying to stay positive and just believe that everything will eventually work itself out and I will find different things to focus on - things that weren't available to me last semester. For instance, a job. I might become a tour guide. I went on one of the tours today and I have really mixed feelings. First of all, it was fucking freezing. Second of all, although it was good, I know my tour wouldn't be anything like the tour I went on today, because obviously I have my own style and personality. I'm just hoping that I'm good enough to do something like that. Thirdly, it seems like a lot of work - there is a script you work off of but its kind of up to you to add info and do your own research. And lastly... (well, the major tour I'd be working) is a free tour. Which means I'd be working off of tips. So obviously, there are very good days but also very bad days. I'm just wondering if I want to put in all this effort to work a couple days a week and possibly make no money sometimes. Overall, though... I DO want to make money and maybe I should do this even though it seems like a challenge. We'll see... I'll make a decision tomorrow or the next day.
Anyway, I'm anxious (to say the least) about the upcoming semester. I'm excited now to start classes (although I just learned there may be a slight problem with one of them and I may not be able to take it... which is really unfortunate) and get things going so that I have something to focus on. Plus, although it's been hard because I've been especially busy and exhausted I am planning on going to the gym at least 5 times a week. (I can get free personal training! How awesome is that?!) Hopefully even if I don't make an army of friends I'll have enough things to do to keep me busy.
Okay... so I feel like I'm acting a lot more hopeful than I actually am. To be honest, I'm pretty terrified of having a terrible time. I don't know how I met such amazing people last semester and I'm worried that it won't happen again. I'm such a nervous wreck about wanting things to work themselves out... it's just so easy to expect the worst and really hard to just expect things will get better.
Anyway, today was a really rough day. Especially since it started with me having the really awesome idea of taking a multi-vitamin, a vitamin-c vitamin, a birth control pill and airborne all on an empty stomach and then scarfing down a banana. I threw up about 5 minutes later then immediately had to leave to go spend 4 hours walking around Amsterdam in the freezing cold. So, I was going to go out tonight and try to be social again but I'm just way too exhausted and equally unenthusiastic to do anything or go anywhere.
Okay, enough with this complaining.
Oh, and PS - Christian convinced me to take one picture of myself, per every day that I'm here and post them weekly. So, get ready for that... which will begin on Tuesday. Ha.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
So, I've been home in NY for a little over a month and this afternoon I am leaving for Amsterdam once again.
After coming back from there a month ago, everything seemed so familiar and normal back home that Amsterdam and all the people I met there felt like a dream. But now that I'm going back, it makes it a lot less dream-like. Which I guess is good?
Oddly enough, I feel a lot more nervous going to Amsterdam this time than I did the last time. Last time I had no idea what to expect, so I didn't really have anything to be nervous about. But this time, I am afraid that I won't be as infiltrated in the "group" as I was before. Group meaning CIEE. There were 40 students last semester and there are 60 this year. Some of them were placed in housing further away than anyone was last semester. (I feel bad for them. Location seems to make or break peoples experience in Amsterdam.) Not only are people more spread out around the city, but because I have already been there and because I won't be able to or won't want to participate in all of the orientation activities, I feel like I'll be a lot more isolated. I don't actually think I'll make no friends - but I doubt I'll find three awesome CIEE people who live next door to me, like I did last time. I guess I just have to accept that it will be different... but that's easier said than done. Worse comes to worse, I love the city... even if I'm alone in it.
I'm a little nervous about classes but not too much. I made it through last time... I guess I can do it again. The classes I'm taking are -
1. Moving Manhood (A class about masculinity and how it's perceived around the world.)
2. The Meaning of Having Children in Different Cultures (Pretty self-explanatory.)
3. Religion and/as Media (Not quite sure what this class will be like... but it seems awesome.)
4. Beginning Dutch (Skipped out on it last semester - if it weren't for this class, I would only have class Monday-Wednesday like last semester... but I have to at least try to learn Dutch, even if it's only offered on Thursdays.)
In terms of school, I'm really really glad I chose to go to Amsterdam and chose to stay there for the whole year. They offer so many more classes than Sarah Lawrence does in terms of what I want to study - Gender/Sexuality. So as crappy as it is to be away from people and miss them - academically, Amsterdam was definitely the right choice.
Speaking of which, given that after this year I'll only have one more year of college... I have begun to casually contemplate my future and how it relates to what I've spent my life doing during these past years. I have no idea (well, I have a couple ideas) about how I would do what I want to do but, I want to somehow severely alter the content and teaching techniques of sexual education in America, beginning in elementary school. Hopefully next fall I can get some kind of internship that will hopefully give me more insight into how I could eventually attempt to do what I want to do. And then how to tackle my desire of still wanting to pursue both acting and the band... and trying to hopefully find some way to tie them all in.
Anyway, enough about that.
My goals for this semester in Amsterdam are -
1. Be more confident that things will eventually work themselves out.
2. Eat significantly healthier than I have in a long time and go to the gym as much as possible. I always used to deny that eating healthy and going to the gym actually made me feel "better" and "happier"... but I really miss it. (My triumph over unhealthy foods will be quite difficult, I imagine... but I'll do it... hopefully.)
3. Get a job? I hope so.
4. I'll be ready to go home. Although that's not so much a goal - I already know I'll be ready to come home.
5. Writing music -- shut up Christian.
6. Eat an incredible amount of pumpkin soup from soup en zo.
Okay, next post will come from Nederland. Weird.
After coming back from there a month ago, everything seemed so familiar and normal back home that Amsterdam and all the people I met there felt like a dream. But now that I'm going back, it makes it a lot less dream-like. Which I guess is good?
Oddly enough, I feel a lot more nervous going to Amsterdam this time than I did the last time. Last time I had no idea what to expect, so I didn't really have anything to be nervous about. But this time, I am afraid that I won't be as infiltrated in the "group" as I was before. Group meaning CIEE. There were 40 students last semester and there are 60 this year. Some of them were placed in housing further away than anyone was last semester. (I feel bad for them. Location seems to make or break peoples experience in Amsterdam.) Not only are people more spread out around the city, but because I have already been there and because I won't be able to or won't want to participate in all of the orientation activities, I feel like I'll be a lot more isolated. I don't actually think I'll make no friends - but I doubt I'll find three awesome CIEE people who live next door to me, like I did last time. I guess I just have to accept that it will be different... but that's easier said than done. Worse comes to worse, I love the city... even if I'm alone in it.
I'm a little nervous about classes but not too much. I made it through last time... I guess I can do it again. The classes I'm taking are -
1. Moving Manhood (A class about masculinity and how it's perceived around the world.)
2. The Meaning of Having Children in Different Cultures (Pretty self-explanatory.)
3. Religion and/as Media (Not quite sure what this class will be like... but it seems awesome.)
4. Beginning Dutch (Skipped out on it last semester - if it weren't for this class, I would only have class Monday-Wednesday like last semester... but I have to at least try to learn Dutch, even if it's only offered on Thursdays.)
In terms of school, I'm really really glad I chose to go to Amsterdam and chose to stay there for the whole year. They offer so many more classes than Sarah Lawrence does in terms of what I want to study - Gender/Sexuality. So as crappy as it is to be away from people and miss them - academically, Amsterdam was definitely the right choice.
Speaking of which, given that after this year I'll only have one more year of college... I have begun to casually contemplate my future and how it relates to what I've spent my life doing during these past years. I have no idea (well, I have a couple ideas) about how I would do what I want to do but, I want to somehow severely alter the content and teaching techniques of sexual education in America, beginning in elementary school. Hopefully next fall I can get some kind of internship that will hopefully give me more insight into how I could eventually attempt to do what I want to do. And then how to tackle my desire of still wanting to pursue both acting and the band... and trying to hopefully find some way to tie them all in.
Anyway, enough about that.
My goals for this semester in Amsterdam are -
1. Be more confident that things will eventually work themselves out.
2. Eat significantly healthier than I have in a long time and go to the gym as much as possible. I always used to deny that eating healthy and going to the gym actually made me feel "better" and "happier"... but I really miss it. (My triumph over unhealthy foods will be quite difficult, I imagine... but I'll do it... hopefully.)
3. Get a job? I hope so.
4. I'll be ready to go home. Although that's not so much a goal - I already know I'll be ready to come home.
5. Writing music -- shut up Christian.
6. Eat an incredible amount of pumpkin soup from soup en zo.
Okay, next post will come from Nederland. Weird.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sorry America, but you haven't gotten it right yet...
I continue to find it absolutely shocking that FOX news airs complete bullshit -
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/330471/7e3dccdb/foxnews_over_onze_coffeeshops.html
C'mon, FOX news... I know you're a politically right-wing, biased, shitty news station but at least have the decency to provide your nearly 90 million international viewers with correct information. Bill O'Reilly... fine. He's an idiot. But a corporation such as the Fox Entertainment Group should pay better attention to the crap piping into millions of households.
To provide clarity to this "Amsterdam is a mess" business.
Yes, in the recent past the CDA (Christian Democrat Appeal) that has held the majority of seats in Dutch parliment for quite a few years is beginning to make a push toward conservatism. Now, keep in mind... the CDA is less religious and less conservative that the Democratic Party in the United States. Even though they are the most conservative party in power... they would never use the word "God" in a speech and they deny using the bible for grounds on which to govern. Instead, they say they use the bible for "inspiration." But regardless... yes, they have recently been making a move toward conservatism. Which by the way, is mostly looked down upon by many Dutch citizens, particularly those living in large cities, such as Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Den Haag, etc.
What has changed? Well, on December 1st... shrooms were outlawed. Why? Because of numerous deadly accidents that have occured with tourists. (For example, a french girl ate mushrooms and drank alcohol and proceeded to jump off a bridge into the canal. Again - this was a tourist.) However, despite the fact that mushrooms were outlawed because of accidents with tourists... you can still buy them. The Dutch police aren't even cracking down and hand written signs are being posted on smartshops saying "We still have mushrooms left!" Why? Because for the most part... mushrooms don't cause a problem. And the Dutch police know it. How many deaths are related to drunk driving in America? And drunk driving on behalf of underage kids in America? Far, far more than the accidents and deaths that have been caused by mushrooms and I don't see alcohol being outlawed in the US anytime soon.
Secondly, throughout the past couple years a few of the red light district windows and brothels have been shut down to house fashion stores. New fashion designers are given a place in the red light district to rent for very cheap and the theory is within a year, they will be famous enough to open up their own shops the following year and new designer will replace their red light district spot. Guess what? It hasn't worked at all. No one goes in to the stores and the majority of Dutch citizens believe the whole fashion thing is foolish and ridiculous. Because it failed so miserably over the past year... it may not continue.
Thirdly, 43 coffeeshops in Amsterdam are intended to close by 2011, including some really famous, touristy shops. Why? Not because coffeeshops are run by drug lords but because the CDA decided any coffeeshops within a certain distance from high schools should not be able to function. This of course, is ridiculous. First of all... the coffeeshop business is supported by tourism, not Dutch high school students. In fact, the majority of Dutch people do not smoke weed and if they do... it's quite rare. About 99% of the Dutch people I have met do not smoke weed. Plus, even if the high school students wanted to smoke weed... its not like they couldn't walk another block or two to pick some up. Insane.
Anyway... I am assuming these are the 3 changes that Bill O'Reilly and his highly educated blonde bombshell newscasters are referring to. So, no, I'm sorry but Amsterdam isn't a "mess" and drug addicts nor criminals have anything to do with it. In fact, it's the "inspired" morality of the CDA itching to push Holland toward conservatism.
My opinion? It isn't going to work. This is going to be a phase that will soon turn around. Yes, in terms of laws, The Netherlands is one of the most liberal countries in the world. But unfortunately... socially they aren't the same. There is a huge conservative and Christian community living outside of the major cities and although their percentage is small, at least compared the religious population in the Netherlands, their influence is not invisible. But, the Dutch are known for their tolerance. "Gedogen." Not their acceptance. The Dutch people are extraordinarily passive and tolerant when it comes to these issues and I think that mentality will win over everything else. It has in the past.
Oh and one more thing... to quote one of those blonde girls -
"The Dutch have wonderfully naive ideas about teaching their children to have safe sex and smoke grass."
That MAY be the most ill-informed statement I have EVER heard. (Probably not... but it's at least in the top 10.) First of all, The Netherlands has a much lower teen pregnancy and abortion rate than America, among other countries. And American teenagers are proven to lose their virginity much sooner than Dutch teenagers. In fact... The Netherlands has the THE LOWEST teen pregnancy rate in the world. (5 in 1,000 teenage girls) as opposed to America which has THE HIGHEST teen pregnancy rate in the world (53 in 1,000 teenage girls). So yeah, I guess The Netherlands has got it wrong. I suppose their low teen pregnancy rate is a result of their "naive" ideas. Secondly... as I stated above, the majority of Dutch people, both young and old, don't smoke weed. Again, that industry is supported primarily by tourism. Much of which is American tourism, thank you very much.
To sum things up... I am not at all happy to be returning to my wonderful country of Bill O'Reilly and FOX news. I am genuinely concerned about how I will feel when I am not indoors and with my family, Christian or Dana... or someone I like. Venturing off into the great unknown of say, the wonderfully American Palisades center is not something I'm looking forward to.
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/330471/7e3dccdb/foxnews_over_onze_coffeeshops.html
C'mon, FOX news... I know you're a politically right-wing, biased, shitty news station but at least have the decency to provide your nearly 90 million international viewers with correct information. Bill O'Reilly... fine. He's an idiot. But a corporation such as the Fox Entertainment Group should pay better attention to the crap piping into millions of households.
To provide clarity to this "Amsterdam is a mess" business.
Yes, in the recent past the CDA (Christian Democrat Appeal) that has held the majority of seats in Dutch parliment for quite a few years is beginning to make a push toward conservatism. Now, keep in mind... the CDA is less religious and less conservative that the Democratic Party in the United States. Even though they are the most conservative party in power... they would never use the word "God" in a speech and they deny using the bible for grounds on which to govern. Instead, they say they use the bible for "inspiration." But regardless... yes, they have recently been making a move toward conservatism. Which by the way, is mostly looked down upon by many Dutch citizens, particularly those living in large cities, such as Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Den Haag, etc.
What has changed? Well, on December 1st... shrooms were outlawed. Why? Because of numerous deadly accidents that have occured with tourists. (For example, a french girl ate mushrooms and drank alcohol and proceeded to jump off a bridge into the canal. Again - this was a tourist.) However, despite the fact that mushrooms were outlawed because of accidents with tourists... you can still buy them. The Dutch police aren't even cracking down and hand written signs are being posted on smartshops saying "We still have mushrooms left!" Why? Because for the most part... mushrooms don't cause a problem. And the Dutch police know it. How many deaths are related to drunk driving in America? And drunk driving on behalf of underage kids in America? Far, far more than the accidents and deaths that have been caused by mushrooms and I don't see alcohol being outlawed in the US anytime soon.
Secondly, throughout the past couple years a few of the red light district windows and brothels have been shut down to house fashion stores. New fashion designers are given a place in the red light district to rent for very cheap and the theory is within a year, they will be famous enough to open up their own shops the following year and new designer will replace their red light district spot. Guess what? It hasn't worked at all. No one goes in to the stores and the majority of Dutch citizens believe the whole fashion thing is foolish and ridiculous. Because it failed so miserably over the past year... it may not continue.
Thirdly, 43 coffeeshops in Amsterdam are intended to close by 2011, including some really famous, touristy shops. Why? Not because coffeeshops are run by drug lords but because the CDA decided any coffeeshops within a certain distance from high schools should not be able to function. This of course, is ridiculous. First of all... the coffeeshop business is supported by tourism, not Dutch high school students. In fact, the majority of Dutch people do not smoke weed and if they do... it's quite rare. About 99% of the Dutch people I have met do not smoke weed. Plus, even if the high school students wanted to smoke weed... its not like they couldn't walk another block or two to pick some up. Insane.
Anyway... I am assuming these are the 3 changes that Bill O'Reilly and his highly educated blonde bombshell newscasters are referring to. So, no, I'm sorry but Amsterdam isn't a "mess" and drug addicts nor criminals have anything to do with it. In fact, it's the "inspired" morality of the CDA itching to push Holland toward conservatism.
My opinion? It isn't going to work. This is going to be a phase that will soon turn around. Yes, in terms of laws, The Netherlands is one of the most liberal countries in the world. But unfortunately... socially they aren't the same. There is a huge conservative and Christian community living outside of the major cities and although their percentage is small, at least compared the religious population in the Netherlands, their influence is not invisible. But, the Dutch are known for their tolerance. "Gedogen." Not their acceptance. The Dutch people are extraordinarily passive and tolerant when it comes to these issues and I think that mentality will win over everything else. It has in the past.
Oh and one more thing... to quote one of those blonde girls -
"The Dutch have wonderfully naive ideas about teaching their children to have safe sex and smoke grass."
That MAY be the most ill-informed statement I have EVER heard. (Probably not... but it's at least in the top 10.) First of all, The Netherlands has a much lower teen pregnancy and abortion rate than America, among other countries. And American teenagers are proven to lose their virginity much sooner than Dutch teenagers. In fact... The Netherlands has the THE LOWEST teen pregnancy rate in the world. (5 in 1,000 teenage girls) as opposed to America which has THE HIGHEST teen pregnancy rate in the world (53 in 1,000 teenage girls). So yeah, I guess The Netherlands has got it wrong. I suppose their low teen pregnancy rate is a result of their "naive" ideas. Secondly... as I stated above, the majority of Dutch people, both young and old, don't smoke weed. Again, that industry is supported primarily by tourism. Much of which is American tourism, thank you very much.
To sum things up... I am not at all happy to be returning to my wonderful country of Bill O'Reilly and FOX news. I am genuinely concerned about how I will feel when I am not indoors and with my family, Christian or Dana... or someone I like. Venturing off into the great unknown of say, the wonderfully American Palisades center is not something I'm looking forward to.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
5 days and counting
So, as you can probably discern from the title... I am leaving Amsterdam in 5 days. It's a strange feeling. Mostly, I am excited to leave and see everyone at home. I'm not as sad about leaving Amsterdam because I know I'll be back. It's strange to know, though that when I do come back, close to no one I know will be here and I'll have to make an entirely new set of friends. But I guess I will deal with that when I have to.
These last 5 days are pretty weird. I have completed all my school work... but I still have two classes left and a bunch of logistical things to do. So when I'm not running around the city renewing my bike contract or signing my residence permit extension... I basically have nothing to do. Most everyone is still working on their papers and I end up sitting in my room feeling anxious and wanting to go home. Plus, my friend Sam already left and people are slowly leaving one by one... it's a strange feeling to still be here when other people are not.
I think I am going to take my friend Alex's extra bed in her room and attach it alongside mine so that I can have a big queen size bed. Not like I need a big bed... but who cares. Why not, right? Maybe it will convince Christian to come visit. Haha.
I think I am also going to buy a tapestry and maybe some Christmas-like lights and go crazy decorating. Just to give me something to do with all this time I'm wasting by sitting around like a lump. I can't decide whether or not I should go to IKEA to buy an extra comforter cover to match the one I already have and put it on my extra comforter... or whether I should just use someone else's that they bought here and having an odd two-toned bed. Ok, it's pathetic that I'm writing about this. Haha. But seriously... maybe I should go to IKEA tomorrow. Hmm.
Oh and I decided, over everything else, why I love the Netherlands so much more than America. America is governed by morality. The Netherlands is governed by practicality. Plain and simple - that's the main (huge) difference. The Netherlands is NOT as liberal as many people think it is. In fact, aside from Amsterdam, most of it ISN'T very liberal. There is a huge bible belt and lots of crazy, conservative Christians. But still, people don't govern with their religion or morality. In fact, that is incredibly looked down upon here. No politician (even from the CDA, the Christian Democratic Appeal whose politics are actually more liberal than much of the American democratic party) would use "God" in a speech or ever use religion as a reason to change a law. The CDA has held the most seats in Dutch parliament for years. They have the word "Christian" in their name and are still considered to be conservative for the Netherlands... but STILL somehow are more liberal than the American Democratic Party. Sure, they will openly say they use the Bible as "inspiration" but that's about as far as they go. Dutch people are shocked to learn that all of our presidents say "God bless America" and publicly announce their faith.
Anyway... to change the subject. At the beginning of the semester we wrote down goals that we hoped to accomplish by the time we leave. In fearing that I would be absolutely miserable here and want to go home, one of my goals was "Not wanting to go home at the end of the semester." Well... haha, I guess I accomplished that cause I'm staying the entire year. Who woulda known.
As excited as I am to go home for the holidays... I'm a bit nervous about returning to the US in general. Reverse culture shock = not fun. I think that's why I originally decided all I wanted to do was stay inside all month. Haha. But now I know I am going to have to go back to work at the Cheesecake factory, which means I have to constantly go to the Palisades mall, which to me, is the epitome of America. Ah. I don't really know how I am going to deal with it. Being ultra friendly to people, hearing English all around, seeing four thousand obese people... yikes. By the way... NO ONE and I really mean no one is fat here. I have literally not seen one fat Dutch person. They obviously got something right because not only are they thin, they are also incredibly tall and good looking.
Ok, I guess I will attempt to do something productive. Like check on my laundry.
I have also officially decided that tomorrow I will go to IKEA to buy a matching bed spread for the extra bed I'll be gaining. I have nothing else to do with my life... so I might as well.
These last 5 days are pretty weird. I have completed all my school work... but I still have two classes left and a bunch of logistical things to do. So when I'm not running around the city renewing my bike contract or signing my residence permit extension... I basically have nothing to do. Most everyone is still working on their papers and I end up sitting in my room feeling anxious and wanting to go home. Plus, my friend Sam already left and people are slowly leaving one by one... it's a strange feeling to still be here when other people are not.
I think I am going to take my friend Alex's extra bed in her room and attach it alongside mine so that I can have a big queen size bed. Not like I need a big bed... but who cares. Why not, right? Maybe it will convince Christian to come visit. Haha.
I think I am also going to buy a tapestry and maybe some Christmas-like lights and go crazy decorating. Just to give me something to do with all this time I'm wasting by sitting around like a lump. I can't decide whether or not I should go to IKEA to buy an extra comforter cover to match the one I already have and put it on my extra comforter... or whether I should just use someone else's that they bought here and having an odd two-toned bed. Ok, it's pathetic that I'm writing about this. Haha. But seriously... maybe I should go to IKEA tomorrow. Hmm.
Oh and I decided, over everything else, why I love the Netherlands so much more than America. America is governed by morality. The Netherlands is governed by practicality. Plain and simple - that's the main (huge) difference. The Netherlands is NOT as liberal as many people think it is. In fact, aside from Amsterdam, most of it ISN'T very liberal. There is a huge bible belt and lots of crazy, conservative Christians. But still, people don't govern with their religion or morality. In fact, that is incredibly looked down upon here. No politician (even from the CDA, the Christian Democratic Appeal whose politics are actually more liberal than much of the American democratic party) would use "God" in a speech or ever use religion as a reason to change a law. The CDA has held the most seats in Dutch parliament for years. They have the word "Christian" in their name and are still considered to be conservative for the Netherlands... but STILL somehow are more liberal than the American Democratic Party. Sure, they will openly say they use the Bible as "inspiration" but that's about as far as they go. Dutch people are shocked to learn that all of our presidents say "God bless America" and publicly announce their faith.
Anyway... to change the subject. At the beginning of the semester we wrote down goals that we hoped to accomplish by the time we leave. In fearing that I would be absolutely miserable here and want to go home, one of my goals was "Not wanting to go home at the end of the semester." Well... haha, I guess I accomplished that cause I'm staying the entire year. Who woulda known.
As excited as I am to go home for the holidays... I'm a bit nervous about returning to the US in general. Reverse culture shock = not fun. I think that's why I originally decided all I wanted to do was stay inside all month. Haha. But now I know I am going to have to go back to work at the Cheesecake factory, which means I have to constantly go to the Palisades mall, which to me, is the epitome of America. Ah. I don't really know how I am going to deal with it. Being ultra friendly to people, hearing English all around, seeing four thousand obese people... yikes. By the way... NO ONE and I really mean no one is fat here. I have literally not seen one fat Dutch person. They obviously got something right because not only are they thin, they are also incredibly tall and good looking.
Ok, I guess I will attempt to do something productive. Like check on my laundry.
I have also officially decided that tomorrow I will go to IKEA to buy a matching bed spread for the extra bed I'll be gaining. I have nothing else to do with my life... so I might as well.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Stress!
I feel very overwhelmed with school work and need to clear my head before I delve into research, outlining, etc.
To be honest, I am extremely good at getting school work done. Procrastination has never been an issue for me (at least not since college because I'm actually interested in what I study)... and I am constantly finishing things long before they are due. Yes, this sounds like a great work ethic but it also has its downfalls. Unlike most people who stress out about everything last minute... I stress out about getting everything done early. I really can't enjoy anything if I have looming obligations over my head so I isolate myself until I feel satisfied with the work I've accomplished. Normally, when I only have two or three small things to do, I don't get very stressed out. I set aside a specific time each day to finish at least one assignment and then reward myself with... I don't know, a television show. Haha. But when the assignments are larger, it's not as easy to stay relaxed.
I have already written one of my 15-page final papers which isn't due until the 15th of December. Although I still have to edit it and add a few things, I'm pretty much finished with it. I then have two other 10-15 page papers to write which I really haven't started at all. So, at the moment, those two looming papers are definitely stressing me out. One is due on the 5th of December and the other isn't due until January 14th but I'm planning to finish it by December 7th. Which means, I have Thursday through Sunday of this week to write one paper and then Thursday through Sunday of the following week to write the other one. I haven't yet been to the public library here which I hear is beautiful, so I think I'm just going to spend lots and lots of time there over the next couple weeks.
It's strange because I'm stressed out but I don't really know what I'm stressed out about. I know that I'll get them done, but I suppose I'm worried they won't be as fun or as easy to write as I'm hoping they'll be. Easy meaning that I won't be annoyed writing them. I always really try to pick topics that I'm really interested in because the worst thing is having to write 15 pages about something you don't care about. It took me only two days to write the paper I completed already and I think that's because it was something I was really interested in. It compares the Netherlands and the United States, focusing on whether or not the Christian population in each country can be said to have an affect on the legality concerning abortion, euthanasia and same-sex marriage in both places.
The two papers I have yet to write about are 1. Comparing the gay rights movements in both the Netherlands and the United States following WWII and 2. Homosexuality in Japan. This last topic is a bit strange for me as I have never been all that interested in learning about homosexuality in Asia but I think it will be fun to branch out. I'm hoping to learn something interesting about the strong family values present in Japan and how that could affect views on homosexuality and perhaps also something about Buddhism and it's effect. I'm slightly worried about the Japan paper because I know literally nothing about Japan and fear I might get overwhelmed. Plus, I always write way too much. I never really realize how short 10-15 pages actually is and suddenly I have way to much information to fit into that amount of space. I find it extraordinarily difficult to condense information. I never know what to leave in and what to take out.
Anyway, tonight I am going to try and finish an optional outline for my Japan paper and send it to my teacher. If I don't finish it tonight, I'll have to finish it tomorrow because I want to get started on my other paper on Thursday. Plus, tomorrow I will have barely any time to do anything because I have class all day then have to cook some food for my program's Thanksgiving dinner. I opted only to cook two vegetable dishes because I knew they wouldn't take very long.
Oh and tomorrow is Christian's birthday which I am very sad to be missing... for the second time in a row. It sucks. But I sent him a birthday package which I hope he gets soon/enjoys.
To be honest, I am extremely good at getting school work done. Procrastination has never been an issue for me (at least not since college because I'm actually interested in what I study)... and I am constantly finishing things long before they are due. Yes, this sounds like a great work ethic but it also has its downfalls. Unlike most people who stress out about everything last minute... I stress out about getting everything done early. I really can't enjoy anything if I have looming obligations over my head so I isolate myself until I feel satisfied with the work I've accomplished. Normally, when I only have two or three small things to do, I don't get very stressed out. I set aside a specific time each day to finish at least one assignment and then reward myself with... I don't know, a television show. Haha. But when the assignments are larger, it's not as easy to stay relaxed.
I have already written one of my 15-page final papers which isn't due until the 15th of December. Although I still have to edit it and add a few things, I'm pretty much finished with it. I then have two other 10-15 page papers to write which I really haven't started at all. So, at the moment, those two looming papers are definitely stressing me out. One is due on the 5th of December and the other isn't due until January 14th but I'm planning to finish it by December 7th. Which means, I have Thursday through Sunday of this week to write one paper and then Thursday through Sunday of the following week to write the other one. I haven't yet been to the public library here which I hear is beautiful, so I think I'm just going to spend lots and lots of time there over the next couple weeks.
It's strange because I'm stressed out but I don't really know what I'm stressed out about. I know that I'll get them done, but I suppose I'm worried they won't be as fun or as easy to write as I'm hoping they'll be. Easy meaning that I won't be annoyed writing them. I always really try to pick topics that I'm really interested in because the worst thing is having to write 15 pages about something you don't care about. It took me only two days to write the paper I completed already and I think that's because it was something I was really interested in. It compares the Netherlands and the United States, focusing on whether or not the Christian population in each country can be said to have an affect on the legality concerning abortion, euthanasia and same-sex marriage in both places.
The two papers I have yet to write about are 1. Comparing the gay rights movements in both the Netherlands and the United States following WWII and 2. Homosexuality in Japan. This last topic is a bit strange for me as I have never been all that interested in learning about homosexuality in Asia but I think it will be fun to branch out. I'm hoping to learn something interesting about the strong family values present in Japan and how that could affect views on homosexuality and perhaps also something about Buddhism and it's effect. I'm slightly worried about the Japan paper because I know literally nothing about Japan and fear I might get overwhelmed. Plus, I always write way too much. I never really realize how short 10-15 pages actually is and suddenly I have way to much information to fit into that amount of space. I find it extraordinarily difficult to condense information. I never know what to leave in and what to take out.
Anyway, tonight I am going to try and finish an optional outline for my Japan paper and send it to my teacher. If I don't finish it tonight, I'll have to finish it tomorrow because I want to get started on my other paper on Thursday. Plus, tomorrow I will have barely any time to do anything because I have class all day then have to cook some food for my program's Thanksgiving dinner. I opted only to cook two vegetable dishes because I knew they wouldn't take very long.
Oh and tomorrow is Christian's birthday which I am very sad to be missing... for the second time in a row. It sucks. But I sent him a birthday package which I hope he gets soon/enjoys.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Embracing the eccentricity of my life.
This morning was spent listening to Bach cello suites, eating toast with cream cheese and olives and reading numerous articles for a class... one of which was entitled, "The Catacombs: A Temple of the Butthole." I feel as if my life has become quite odd, to say the least.
Actually, that article in particular was quite fascinating. It was about a group of primarily gay men who formed a community in San Fransico in an, "Underground establishment where twentieth-century sexual heretics could practice their own rites and rituals in a situation that was insulated, as much as possible, from the curious and hostile." The article explained that of course not only was their community shunned and feared but that if studied, could and can reveal a great deal about not only the gay subculture and its emergence in San Fransisco but also about AIDS and the tremendous stories of so many people whose lives had to be kept secret. It was actually extremely moving, especially this quote, "Many of the men who frequented the Catacombs found relationships there that have sustained them through time, nurtured them with affection, cared for them in sickness, and buried them in sorrow." It reminded me a lot of the end of Angels in America when Prior Walter says, "This disease will be the end of many of us, but not nearly all. And the dead will be commemorated and will struggle on with the living. And we are not going away. We won’t die secret deaths anymore. The world only spins forward. We are citizens. The time has come.” I really need to bring that play back with me to Amsterdam... or the movie, or both... I miss reading/watching it. Some people have the Bible, I have Angels in America.
The past three days have been spent doing endless amounts of work. It hasn't been annoying work, though. The only thing that was a bit painful to write was an essay about different types of abortions. I'm completely pro-choice but reading about the different kinds of abortions, specifically the ones that are performed during the third trimester... it was scary. Really scary. I feel terrible for my teacher that he has to read it. Haha. The class is Contemporary Dutch Social Policy and we are told to write a paper about something having to do with the topic at hand (which is abortion and/or euthanasia), either relating it to the Netherlands or not. I really wish I hadn't chose what I chose, given that it's more scientific in nature than anything, and I'm honestly afraid of getting a bad grade because it's a disgusting paper to read.
But, aside from the nauseating abortion paper, I'm actually enjoying the seclusion and time indoors. A good amount of my friends are in Paris this weekend and although I wish I could spend time with them... it's quite nice to have an extended period of time just for myself.
Oh, right... and two days ago I got a tattoo. I love it. It is still healing and doesn't look all that great right now, so I am going to wait to take a picture of it until it's healed.
Until next time...
Actually, that article in particular was quite fascinating. It was about a group of primarily gay men who formed a community in San Fransico in an, "Underground establishment where twentieth-century sexual heretics could practice their own rites and rituals in a situation that was insulated, as much as possible, from the curious and hostile." The article explained that of course not only was their community shunned and feared but that if studied, could and can reveal a great deal about not only the gay subculture and its emergence in San Fransisco but also about AIDS and the tremendous stories of so many people whose lives had to be kept secret. It was actually extremely moving, especially this quote, "Many of the men who frequented the Catacombs found relationships there that have sustained them through time, nurtured them with affection, cared for them in sickness, and buried them in sorrow." It reminded me a lot of the end of Angels in America when Prior Walter says, "This disease will be the end of many of us, but not nearly all. And the dead will be commemorated and will struggle on with the living. And we are not going away. We won’t die secret deaths anymore. The world only spins forward. We are citizens. The time has come.” I really need to bring that play back with me to Amsterdam... or the movie, or both... I miss reading/watching it. Some people have the Bible, I have Angels in America.
The past three days have been spent doing endless amounts of work. It hasn't been annoying work, though. The only thing that was a bit painful to write was an essay about different types of abortions. I'm completely pro-choice but reading about the different kinds of abortions, specifically the ones that are performed during the third trimester... it was scary. Really scary. I feel terrible for my teacher that he has to read it. Haha. The class is Contemporary Dutch Social Policy and we are told to write a paper about something having to do with the topic at hand (which is abortion and/or euthanasia), either relating it to the Netherlands or not. I really wish I hadn't chose what I chose, given that it's more scientific in nature than anything, and I'm honestly afraid of getting a bad grade because it's a disgusting paper to read.
But, aside from the nauseating abortion paper, I'm actually enjoying the seclusion and time indoors. A good amount of my friends are in Paris this weekend and although I wish I could spend time with them... it's quite nice to have an extended period of time just for myself.
Oh, right... and two days ago I got a tattoo. I love it. It is still healing and doesn't look all that great right now, so I am going to wait to take a picture of it until it's healed.
Until next time...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Excuse my outburst....
I know that I should still be basking in the joy of knowing who are next president will be... but over the past few days I have become more and more disturbed at how prejudiced so much of our country really is.
I suppose everyone who voted for McCain, and was disappointed, has a right to be upset. All of us Bush-haters have certainly expressed our anger and frustration over the past 8 years and I suppose the Republicans have that right too. Not suppose, of course they do.
However... Something really weird and disturbing is going on that I've never really seen before. I've talked to many people who have been quite surprised at some of the things popping up on their facebook pages. Status's that read - "HAIL HITLER!! if you voted Obama, congratulations.. your a fucking idiot!! bye bye capitalism, hello communism. at least i voted SMART." Or "Thanks all you nazis for voting for Hitler... we're gonna have a great country now you FUCKING LIBERAL MORONS!"
Ok... so again, people have a right to be upset but in my opinion, this is crossing a line. I got myself involved arguing with someone via facebook (the person who wrote the hail hitler thing) and although I regret getting myself involved, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. In the end, this girl ended up calling me a "liberal homo terrorist communist" and a "hitler loving nazi." Ok, first of all... I'm the nazi? The jew with a major in GLBT studies, with a gay dad, who voted for a black man? Seriously? I'm the nazi? Secondly... Hitler and the nazi party were avidly against communism, so to call anyone a communist nazi doesn't even make sense. And of course, after spewing out all of these historical facts and personal feelings, I got absolutely no where and ended up feeling completely embarrassed that I had wasted a good amount of time trying to prove her wrong. Because I knew from the beginning I would get no where. But how do I not step in? How do I not get personally offended? I don't know the answers to these questions.
So I went through my friends list and started to delete anyone who's status said anything that I believed to be absurdly prejudiced in any way. I did this because I knew that if I didn't, I would start arguing with everyone. And I didn't want to do that.
It's also a very strange feeling to know you've won an argument (hitler wasn't a communist, your status is completely offensive to millions of people, etc) but not have the other person admit they were wrong. Hitler was not a communist and this girl explained to me that my "facts" were "bullshit." I think that's my greatest fault in life... to assume that everyone will be able to admit when they're wrong and to apologize when they say something that offends someone else, regardless of whether or not it was intentional. I was raised with the idea that it's vital to apologize, even when you mean no harm toward others... if someone is hurt by what you've said or done it's so important to acknowledge that persons feelings and learn how to act or express yourself differently in the future. But I guess not everyone believes that. I guess not everyone knows when to back down, or how to re-evaluate the expression of one's own opinions. I always assume that people do and am constantly let down.
I also have a really hard time not taking things personally. This girl on facebook, who I barely know, did not have me in mind when she composed her facebook status. But how could I NOT get personally offended? When I explained to her why I was personally offended, she explained that she didn't give a shit about how Jewish I was, how gay my dad was, or any of it and that I meant nothing to her. This shocks me. Because although she wasn't thinking about me when she wrote the facebook status, by expressing the opinions she expressed, how can she not realize that she's personally offending millions of people?
So many people have explained to me that it's really detrimental to take things personally. I understand the reasons for this but I am going to have to disagree with many of them.
My personal life... the life that has defined my personal beliefs is what gives me the motivation and stamina to fight for what I believe in. If I didn't take things personally, I wouldn't have the ability to fight to make a difference. For example, how can I not take Proposition 8 personally? I know that it isn't about me, or my family but it affects me and my family. Even racism... I'm not black and no one has ever offended me based on my race, but I take racism towards other people personally, because I understand what it feels like to be hated or looked down upon. If it weren't for my internalization I would have no basis on which to form my beliefs. I really don't think taking things personally is so terrible.
The other day in class, my teacher was trying to express why he feels uncomfortable when he sees Muslim women dressed in veils. He was having a hard time explaining himself, especially when numerous people in the class began to attack him. He finally explained that as a gay man, he feels personally offended by outward expressions of the Muslim religion because a lot of Muslims believe homosexuality is wrong. He said that when he sees a veil, he immediately thinks that person disapproves of him. He's a very intelligent person and is obviously aware that 1. Not all Muslims disapprove of homosexuality and 2. The women he sees wearing veils obviously do not "hate" him... or even know him for that matter. But I got what he was saying. As politically incorrect as his statement may have been, I understood it because I have felt similarly in the past. He compared the wearing of veils to the wearing of swastikas... and many people in my class freaked out. And ok, it's a shocking thing to say. But how many people have killed homosexuals in the name of Islam? A lot. People killed Jews because they thought it was wrong and detrimental to society to be Jewish. Well... people are killing homosexuals for many of the same reasons. So is it bad for my teacher to have internalized Islam in the way that he has? I really don't know. It's not as if he's walking up to Muslim women ripping veils from their heads or calling them nazis, it's just that he can't help but feel personally offended. And I get that. Even as un-PC as that may be. He feels discriminated against and even if his reasons for feeling discriminated are a bit irrational, if that's what it takes to make him want to change prejudices, then I don't think that's a bad thing.
So what's the difference between my teacher equating veils with swastikas and the girl on facebook calling me and Barack Obama a nazi? Well... I think it's in the way each person decided to express themselves. My teacher was fully aware of his feelings but didn't say "Muslims are like nazis and they all hate me and want to kill me." Because of course, that's irrational. Just like the girls fear that Barack is a nazi is irrational. I think it's vital for us all to internalize things and be aware of our feelings (as irrational as they may be), re-evaluate those feelings and then use them to make a difference. To make this country less prejudiced and less hateful.
I have nothing against people who voted for McCain and understand the reasons for why people did. (Well, some of the reasons.) Even if the girl on facebook had said "Look... For some reason, and I don't know why, but Barack reminds me of a communist." I would have been way less offended and way more willing to have an adult, mature conversation with her.
When personal feelings make you incapable of hearing outside opinions, that's when they become a problem.
But of course I am biased and prejudiced myself. A good example of my prejudice is my disapproval and disgust with organized religion and the ways it alienates and discriminates against certain groups of people. I have absolutely nothing against spirituality or a belief in God and I think that being spiritual can be very positive. But once that belief begins to tell people how to live, who to approve and disapprove of... It becomes a problem. I do not see how it is positive to tell homosexuals they cannot get married in the name of Christianity and therefore, I am prejudiced against the aspects of Christianity that exclude people. I am all about religious freedom and think that everyone should have the right to religion. But NOT when that religion is used as an excuse to hate, exclude, oppress or kill. Therefore, although I am "prejudiced"... I am only prejudiced towards people who are prejudiced themselves.
So, although this of course seems biased... my prejudice, to me does not seem harmful because all I want in life is for everyone to be treated equally. Everyone deserves EQUAL FUCKING RIGHTS! How can people possibly disagree with that? And although I feel so strongly on this issue... I still, on a daily basis, open myself up to hearing the other side. I will never cut someone off or tell them they don't have a right to how they feel. So much of Christianity and Islam conflicts directly with so much of what I believe, but I STILL listen. I still have an open mind and I really, really love to be proven wrong and be forced to re-consider my beliefs.
I just wish everyone felt the same way.
I will end with a excerpt from an article written by Harvey Fierstein that I found to be quite excellent and well-written -
"Listen, my fellow Americans, I am only asking that we get sensible about this controversy. Gays are not asking for religious blessings. We are not asking for everyone to come to our weddings. We are not asking the government to force churches and synagogues to perform marriage rituals or even to allow us into their tax-exempt edifices. We are simply and forcefully demanding equal protection under the laws of this nation as tax paying, voting, property owning citizens. I want no more or less protection than granted any heterosexual to control and distribute my holdings."
I suppose everyone who voted for McCain, and was disappointed, has a right to be upset. All of us Bush-haters have certainly expressed our anger and frustration over the past 8 years and I suppose the Republicans have that right too. Not suppose, of course they do.
However... Something really weird and disturbing is going on that I've never really seen before. I've talked to many people who have been quite surprised at some of the things popping up on their facebook pages. Status's that read - "HAIL HITLER!! if you voted Obama, congratulations.. your a fucking idiot!! bye bye capitalism, hello communism. at least i voted SMART." Or "Thanks all you nazis for voting for Hitler... we're gonna have a great country now you FUCKING LIBERAL MORONS!"
Ok... so again, people have a right to be upset but in my opinion, this is crossing a line. I got myself involved arguing with someone via facebook (the person who wrote the hail hitler thing) and although I regret getting myself involved, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. In the end, this girl ended up calling me a "liberal homo terrorist communist" and a "hitler loving nazi." Ok, first of all... I'm the nazi? The jew with a major in GLBT studies, with a gay dad, who voted for a black man? Seriously? I'm the nazi? Secondly... Hitler and the nazi party were avidly against communism, so to call anyone a communist nazi doesn't even make sense. And of course, after spewing out all of these historical facts and personal feelings, I got absolutely no where and ended up feeling completely embarrassed that I had wasted a good amount of time trying to prove her wrong. Because I knew from the beginning I would get no where. But how do I not step in? How do I not get personally offended? I don't know the answers to these questions.
So I went through my friends list and started to delete anyone who's status said anything that I believed to be absurdly prejudiced in any way. I did this because I knew that if I didn't, I would start arguing with everyone. And I didn't want to do that.
It's also a very strange feeling to know you've won an argument (hitler wasn't a communist, your status is completely offensive to millions of people, etc) but not have the other person admit they were wrong. Hitler was not a communist and this girl explained to me that my "facts" were "bullshit." I think that's my greatest fault in life... to assume that everyone will be able to admit when they're wrong and to apologize when they say something that offends someone else, regardless of whether or not it was intentional. I was raised with the idea that it's vital to apologize, even when you mean no harm toward others... if someone is hurt by what you've said or done it's so important to acknowledge that persons feelings and learn how to act or express yourself differently in the future. But I guess not everyone believes that. I guess not everyone knows when to back down, or how to re-evaluate the expression of one's own opinions. I always assume that people do and am constantly let down.
I also have a really hard time not taking things personally. This girl on facebook, who I barely know, did not have me in mind when she composed her facebook status. But how could I NOT get personally offended? When I explained to her why I was personally offended, she explained that she didn't give a shit about how Jewish I was, how gay my dad was, or any of it and that I meant nothing to her. This shocks me. Because although she wasn't thinking about me when she wrote the facebook status, by expressing the opinions she expressed, how can she not realize that she's personally offending millions of people?
So many people have explained to me that it's really detrimental to take things personally. I understand the reasons for this but I am going to have to disagree with many of them.
My personal life... the life that has defined my personal beliefs is what gives me the motivation and stamina to fight for what I believe in. If I didn't take things personally, I wouldn't have the ability to fight to make a difference. For example, how can I not take Proposition 8 personally? I know that it isn't about me, or my family but it affects me and my family. Even racism... I'm not black and no one has ever offended me based on my race, but I take racism towards other people personally, because I understand what it feels like to be hated or looked down upon. If it weren't for my internalization I would have no basis on which to form my beliefs. I really don't think taking things personally is so terrible.
The other day in class, my teacher was trying to express why he feels uncomfortable when he sees Muslim women dressed in veils. He was having a hard time explaining himself, especially when numerous people in the class began to attack him. He finally explained that as a gay man, he feels personally offended by outward expressions of the Muslim religion because a lot of Muslims believe homosexuality is wrong. He said that when he sees a veil, he immediately thinks that person disapproves of him. He's a very intelligent person and is obviously aware that 1. Not all Muslims disapprove of homosexuality and 2. The women he sees wearing veils obviously do not "hate" him... or even know him for that matter. But I got what he was saying. As politically incorrect as his statement may have been, I understood it because I have felt similarly in the past. He compared the wearing of veils to the wearing of swastikas... and many people in my class freaked out. And ok, it's a shocking thing to say. But how many people have killed homosexuals in the name of Islam? A lot. People killed Jews because they thought it was wrong and detrimental to society to be Jewish. Well... people are killing homosexuals for many of the same reasons. So is it bad for my teacher to have internalized Islam in the way that he has? I really don't know. It's not as if he's walking up to Muslim women ripping veils from their heads or calling them nazis, it's just that he can't help but feel personally offended. And I get that. Even as un-PC as that may be. He feels discriminated against and even if his reasons for feeling discriminated are a bit irrational, if that's what it takes to make him want to change prejudices, then I don't think that's a bad thing.
So what's the difference between my teacher equating veils with swastikas and the girl on facebook calling me and Barack Obama a nazi? Well... I think it's in the way each person decided to express themselves. My teacher was fully aware of his feelings but didn't say "Muslims are like nazis and they all hate me and want to kill me." Because of course, that's irrational. Just like the girls fear that Barack is a nazi is irrational. I think it's vital for us all to internalize things and be aware of our feelings (as irrational as they may be), re-evaluate those feelings and then use them to make a difference. To make this country less prejudiced and less hateful.
I have nothing against people who voted for McCain and understand the reasons for why people did. (Well, some of the reasons.) Even if the girl on facebook had said "Look... For some reason, and I don't know why, but Barack reminds me of a communist." I would have been way less offended and way more willing to have an adult, mature conversation with her.
When personal feelings make you incapable of hearing outside opinions, that's when they become a problem.
But of course I am biased and prejudiced myself. A good example of my prejudice is my disapproval and disgust with organized religion and the ways it alienates and discriminates against certain groups of people. I have absolutely nothing against spirituality or a belief in God and I think that being spiritual can be very positive. But once that belief begins to tell people how to live, who to approve and disapprove of... It becomes a problem. I do not see how it is positive to tell homosexuals they cannot get married in the name of Christianity and therefore, I am prejudiced against the aspects of Christianity that exclude people. I am all about religious freedom and think that everyone should have the right to religion. But NOT when that religion is used as an excuse to hate, exclude, oppress or kill. Therefore, although I am "prejudiced"... I am only prejudiced towards people who are prejudiced themselves.
So, although this of course seems biased... my prejudice, to me does not seem harmful because all I want in life is for everyone to be treated equally. Everyone deserves EQUAL FUCKING RIGHTS! How can people possibly disagree with that? And although I feel so strongly on this issue... I still, on a daily basis, open myself up to hearing the other side. I will never cut someone off or tell them they don't have a right to how they feel. So much of Christianity and Islam conflicts directly with so much of what I believe, but I STILL listen. I still have an open mind and I really, really love to be proven wrong and be forced to re-consider my beliefs.
I just wish everyone felt the same way.
I will end with a excerpt from an article written by Harvey Fierstein that I found to be quite excellent and well-written -
"Listen, my fellow Americans, I am only asking that we get sensible about this controversy. Gays are not asking for religious blessings. We are not asking for everyone to come to our weddings. We are not asking the government to force churches and synagogues to perform marriage rituals or even to allow us into their tax-exempt edifices. We are simply and forcefully demanding equal protection under the laws of this nation as tax paying, voting, property owning citizens. I want no more or less protection than granted any heterosexual to control and distribute my holdings."
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